Collecting Inspiration

So many things have been swirling around my heart lately, I don't know if I can get it all down.

My baby boy turned one year old! Unbelievable! This tiny little miracle God blessed me with is now this little person with facial expressions and mannerisms who laughs when I catch his eye. Being home with him all day everyday this summer has already been SO GOOD for my heart. He is such a sweet child.... when I get bogged down with thoughts about all I cannot control, it's like he senses it and waddles over to put his head on my shoulder. Seriously! Gah, I love that boy! Here's a shot from his Pirate Party:


And after his first taste of cake (a pirate ship I made):


Cooking is one of the new things I'm attempting this summer. I think it would be really cool if our new family tradition was Mommy making the birthday cake.... we can always have a backup, just in case. ;)

As far as work goes, I can't not think about it. It's stupid to pretend I can. So I have just decided that I'm going to concentrate on researching cool ideas and planning on being a rockstar art teacher next year so, if I end up going, I'll go out with a bang! I haven't been particularly proud of anything I've done at that school so far and I know I'm better than that. I need to stop trying to figure out who everyone wants me to be and just BE ME! This e-course from KellyRae (www.kellyraeroberts.com) that Brett signed me up for has been helping me see that I need to practice bravery and has been really encouraging me creatively... I'm finally making artwork of my OWN again! So, moving forward, looking ahead, dreaming big, taking risks. That's what I'm focusing on now.

Since finding such an amazing church home (www.columbiachurch.net) I've also been developing more spiritually. I've been challenged to actually pray for blessings for my "enemies" and THAT has been humbling! But I just feel like this summer is really going to be a time of renewal and strengthening me in all kinds of ways.... so far it really has been.

Another challenge I've been approached with is this idea of what it means to be a disciple. The term "Christian" is only used 3 times in the bible but the term "disciple" is used over 300 times.... the words are supposed to mean the same thing. My whole idea of discipleship has been that they are the really serious Christians, the ones that seem to live at a higher level. But I've read SO many scriptures lately that show that you cannot separate being "saved" from being a disciple... it makes me feel like, even though I always thought I was a Christian since I was 7 when I prayed the Lord's prayer and got baptized and even though I've been on mission trips and gone to church and been part of Campus Crusade, maybe my whole spiritual experience so far has been like an incubation time until now. Like the seed was first planted when I met Jesus at age 7 but I've been developing and growing since then in a womb and now I'm at a point I can really count the cost and make the necessary commitment and be BORN again. It just seems so...? What I always believed may not be the case. What do you think about all this? The church seems to never do an "invitation" at the end of their Sunday services (which is so different!) and they celebrate baptisms like I've never seen because they believe that a foundation must be set and the adult given time to really decide that they want to know the truth and obey. THEN once they are baptized, they are disciples. Makes me think and question and wonder about getting baptized again. Heavy stuff. But really thrilling to be searching the Word with so much passion again.

Anyway, sorry for those of you who might think it's crazy to blog about my faith like that. The e-course has also stirred in me a desire to create a website for all my artistic endeavors where I can share art lesson ideas too and perhaps blog as "MrsQuam". I could connect to more people, perhaps even students, and set myself up as more of a professional. I don't know how the general public would feel about my spiritual ramblings but, ya know, I just gotta be me.

So, anyway, I'll let you know when www.MrsQuam.com is up and running if you want to check it out. Until then, hopefully, I'll be more faithfully yours. ;) Thanks for reading!