The End of the 99 Questions

81. What are the three biggest priorities in my life?

Connecting with God and pleasing Him with my life, loving my husband well, loving my children well

82. Who are the most important people in the world to me?

My family and friends. I've actually come to the point where I genuinely LIKE these relatives I am supposed to LOVE. And I've become very selective about the people I call my friends... there's only a handful of them but I'd do anything for them and I consider them the family I get to choose! ;)

83. Who loves me? Who cares for me?

Hopefully those friends and family I mentioned above! Ha! And my students I think.

84. Are my living and work areas organized in a way that serves me well?

I believe so. I almost feel like I can't breathe within a space until I have things put in a way that makes sense to me. In high school, I had to have my locker just so. Here at home I'm constantly going through things and consolidating and purging. You might not get it, but I get it. ;P

85. Do I have a healthy lifestyle?

NO! But I want to change! I really want to incorporate exercise into everyday by doing active things with my family and friends (like, rather than meet to have dinner, meet to go for a walk). I'm still struggling with my eating disorder so fruits and veggies are rare in my diet but I refuse to raise Caleb that way so something's gotta give!

86. Am I carrying any emotional baggage?

Aren't we all? Ha! Thank God He lets us lay these heavy burdens down... now I just have to learn not to pick them back up!!!

87. Have I let go of the mistakes I’ve made in the past?

I try. Sometimes they come back to my mind... I'll be somewhere or see something that triggers a memory I'd rather forget. But my choices have gotten me to where I am today so I guess even those regrets have taught me something.

88. Do I give myself permission to fail?

Not nearly as much as I should. I'm pretty intolerant of my own incompetence.

89. Do I learn from my mistakes?

I hope so! I def learn a lesson but whether I keep that lesson in mind when I have the chance to either repeat the same mistake or make a different choice is a whole 'nother matter! Most of the problems in my life have resulted from me and my big mouth so, you'd think I'd stop making the same mistake! I embody that quote about insanity.... doing the same thing over and over expecting different results! Ha!

90. Do I rebound quickly when something goes wrong?

Not at allllllllllllllllllll. I get wounded deeply and need to take some time and space to nurse my wounds. Ha, that's pretty much been my summer!

91. Do my beliefs serve me well?

Yes? Though perhaps that belief that all people are generally good is a bit naive.

92. Do I need to relax the rules I’ve set for myself and for others?

Probably. If you don't expect a lot, you won't get disappointed.

93. What childhood dreams have I been neglecting?

I need to build more forts.

94. Where have I been giving my power over to others?

Hmm, definitely at work. My trouble always comes when I am associated with certain people and their work (or lack of it). I can still be helpful to my coworkers when they need me without becoming a part of the drama. I need to separate myself from my "team" and be seen as an independent teacher. I want to be in control of my reputation, not them. And even if that doesn't turn out to be such a positive thing, at least I can respect myself and stand wholeheartedly behind my work because it is authentically me.

95. What do I need to do in order to regain my power?

See above. I also need to just commit my plans (and reputation and search for favor) to the Lord and let Him decide what power I can handle!

95. Who are my role models?

Tori Spelling? Hehe.

96. Am I being authentic? Do I allow myself to be me? Am I trying to be somebody I’m not?

That's really important to me and I battle with that almost everyday. My desire to be "totally Ashley" all the time in front of all people in all circumstances V.S. my insane insecurity and need to be whoever others want me to be.

97. What if . . .

I actually was everything I appear to be?

98. Why not . . .

take that risk and let the chips fall where they may?

99. How can I . . .

put all of this into practice?!?