Ya'll, I am so disappointed in myself.
At the very mention of school starting back up, I've already relapsed into all the things I've tried to overcome.
Anxiety.
Gossip.
Complaining.
Downright Fear.
I read Joyce Meyer's Approval Addiction. I've sought out prayer. I've posted relevant scriptures all around to remind me of how I need to seek God to protect me and love my enemies. I've taken classroom management workshops and read teacher-improvement books. I don't know what else to do.
I don't know what it's going to take to ACTUALLY change me.
I shocked myself at how quickly I went from being confident about the new person I plan on being at school this year to the same old doormat.
All the heart conditions I've worked through this summer came to nothing in 2 seconds flat.
Am I just going to be a "new creation" in theory, not in practice?
The practice part is so so so hard.
ReplyDeleteYou are who you are. You can't change who you are but learn to control your actions. Once you start to notice the behavior you want to change is when you can begin to focus on changing the negative energy you want to express into positive energy elsewhere. :) XOXO
ReplyDeletei agree with the above quote - now is when you can actually start making the change. all this time leading up to it has been preparation time and now you get to put it into practice. you're not going to change overnight, or over summer even. you will see change while you are in the fire. start with small things you want to change and grow from there. you are not relapsing! you are just now stepping to the starting line of the race, the past 2 months have been training. you can do this!
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